What If?
by QueenReagan
Summary: What if something had gone wrong and Oliver wasn't able to save the day? What if his powers mess up again and he actually hurts someone? What if he's not good enough to be a superhero? What if... What if?
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so this has turned out to be longer than I had anticipated, so I'm splitting it into two (maybe three?) parts. Here's the first. WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR LATEST LAB RATS: ELITE FORCE EPISODE. It's been about a week so I'm sure (I hope) now is an okay time to post.

* * *

He has to run. He has to get away. He has to... Has to leave. His mind was swimming with terrible thoughts. Donald, Kaz, and Chase were in the kitchen, laughing about what just happened. Kaz and Chase were making old men jokes. Oliver sat on the stairs by the fireplace and rubbed his temples.

He felt like he was going to be sick. His head was pounding. His heart was racing. The events of today replayed over and over again. The feelings of not being good enough and fear of letting Donald fall nested in the pit of his stomach like rocks at the bottom of a river. He was scared. No, he was terrified. Ashamed. What if that isn't the last time? What if he chokes up again when lives are at stake?

Nobody believed in him. Heck, he didn't even believe in him. They all thought they were going to fall. Even his best friend.

Skylar and Bree walked past him. "Hey guys," Skylar said, stopping in the middle of the living room.

"Did we miss anything?" Bree asked.

"Only the death of the Davenhead on the side of the building," Kaz answered with a laugh. Oliver rose to his feet. Bree laughed with Chase and Kaz and joined them in the kitchen. Skylar was about to, but noticed Oliver in the corner.

"You okay, Oliver?" she asked. His face was hot and his eyes were full of tears. She frowned in concern.

"I'm going to get some air," he said roughly, grabbing his coat off the back of the couch.

Skylar caught his arm before he could leave. "What's going on?"

Oliver swallowed hard and jerked his arm from her grasp. "Nothing. M'fine."

"Oliver!" Skylar called as he stormed out of the room. The slamming of the door silenced everyone.

"What was that about?" Chase asked. Skylar walked to the kitchen and stood on the first stair.

"I'm not sure. He said he was fine but..." Skylar shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, where'd he go?" Kaz demanded, walking around the counter.

"He just said he was going for some air."

"But that's dangerous! Those guys who destroyed Mighty Med are out there somewhere!" Bree exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"We have to find him," Chase said.

Donald nodded. "Go," he ordered.

•••••

 _You are officially the worst superhero ever._

Donald's words rang painfully through his head. Oliver walked down the streets as if he were on a mission. Maybe he was.

He was angry. And afraid. And his cheeks were stained with tears he tried so hard to stop. The night was cold, but he didn't care. _Maybe I'll get hyperthermia and lose my powers_ , he thought grimly.

A part of him really _did_ want him to lose his powers. That part was stronger than the rest of him that didn't. He was trembling, whether from the cold or from fear, he wasn't sure. _What if I hurt someone? What if I can't save them in time? What if... What if..._

He stopped in a park. Everything was dark around him, except for the streetlight on a lonely corner. He sat beneath a tree and pulled his knees to his chest. The world had fallen silent, leaving Oliver to his own treacherous thoughts.

•••••

"Oliver!" Kaz shouted as he and Chase ran through the streets. Skylar and Bree were searching the other side of the city. They'd been running for an hour and, even though Kaz's lungs were on fire, he refused to stop. He refused to rest when his best friend could be in danger.

"Kaz," Chase called, grabbing the boy's arm. They slowed to a stop and Kaz looked back at him as he caught his breath.

"What are you doing? We haven't found him yet!"

"I know... I know..." Chase leaned back and sighed at the cracks and pops up his spine. "But we need to rest for a second. I think I dropped a lung somewhere along the way."

"We can't rest! He's still out there somewhere! What if he's hurt? Or captured? Or... Or..."

"Okay, calm down." Chase grabbed Kaz's shoulder comfortingly. "We'll find him, don't worry. He couldn't have gotten far."

"No, but we could be looking in the wrong places."

"The girls are looking, too. They'll call if they find him."

Kaz ran his hands through his hair and stared at the ground. "I can't lose him," he muttered.

"You won't. I promise. Try calling him again." Kaz already knew Oliver wouldn't pick up, but he did anyways. It rang once. Twice. Three times. Voicemail. Kaz angrily threw his phone on the ground. It bounced off the sidewalk and cracked down the screen.

He stared at his phone. He wasn't sure why he was angry, or who he was angry at. Was it himself? Oliver? Was he angry because Oliver ran off? Or because he let Oliver get away?

Suddenly, the screen lit up. The phone dinged loudly. It was in Kaz's hands in a second. A message from Oliver. Two single words.

 _I'm okay._

Kaz glared at it and typed back furiously.

 _Is that supposed to make me feel better? Where the heck are you?!_

Oliver didn't respond. Kaz's jaw clenched and he turned back to Chase.

"Ready?" he asked. Chase took some deep breaths, jumped up and down a few times, and nodded. Kaz pocketed his broken phone. "Good. Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

Somebody was standing under the streetlight. Oliver couldn't see who it was, but whoever it was seemed to be staring right at him. He tried to push himself further into the tree and maybe hide himself.

"Oliver," they said. It was a woman's voice. It was an all too familiar voice. His mouth went dry.

She beckoned him into the light. He hesitated. "Oliver," she said again, resting her hands on her hips in a motherly way. He found himself actually walking toward her. She's a villain, shouldn't he be running in the other direction? Or fighting her? But she's still his mom. Maybe a part of him still believes she can change.

"Mom," he breathed once he stepped into the light. "It... It really is you. What are you doing here? Where have you been? Are you okay?"

"I've been around Oliver, nowhere specific. I'm fine. Actually no, I'm great! I've got all the power I could possibly ever want. And so do you, I assume? You and Kaz got powers the same time I did, right?"

Oliver nodded. "Yeah, but it's not turning out as great as I had hoped." The fact that she was a literal villain didn't seem to matter to Oliver at the moment. He felt as though it was just his mom and him, like it had been for the past three years. He missed it.

"Why not?"

So Oliver told her. He told her about the training and Kaz being better than him and Mr. Davenport almost dying because of him (although he left out Donald's name for safety purposes). He told her about how scared he was as he dangled from the ledge and how he honestly thought they weren't going to make it. He confessed his insecurities like he was talking about a school day. Things felt normal right then, just a regular conversation with his mom. He cherished it.

"I don't know if I can handle these new abilities, mom. I'm afraid I won't be able to save everyone. I'm afraid I'll accidentally hurt someone because I can't control myself. I'm afraid..." He looked back at her helplessly. He couldn't bring himself to say it.

"You're afraid of becoming like me," she finished. He figured one of her new powers was mind reading. "You're afraid of becoming a villain."

"I am," he admitted. "I love you, mom. And I always will. But I don't want to be like you. I want to help people, not take over the world."

She chewed on her lip and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oliver," she sighed. She caressed his cheek and stared into his eyes. He relaxed into her touch. Man, did he really miss his mother.

"Get away from him!" someone shouted. A ball of fire socked Bridgett in the stomach and knocked her off her feet. Oliver stepped back and looked in the direction the attack came from.

Bridgett looked back at the two boys who had just attacked her, then at her son, then disappeared into a cloud of smoke. Chase slowed to a stop in the spot she just was and groaned.

"She can geoleap, too?!" he asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation. Oliver stared at the place he last saw his mother and suddenly felt completely alone again. Kaz turned on him.

"What do you think you're doing?" he yelled, smacking Oliver in the shoulder.

"Me? What about you? That was my _mother_!" Oliver shouted.

"I was trying to save you!"

"She wasn't hurting me, Kaz! She was helping me!"

"With what?" Kaz spat. His eyes narrowed and his jaw set. He realized he was mad that Oliver had run off.

Oliver rubbed his face. "Nothing. You wouldn't understand."

"No, don't give me that." Kaz grabbed Oliver's upper arms and gently shook him. "What were you two talking about?"

Roughly, Oliver shoved Kaz away and shook his head. He whispered, "You didn't believe in me."

Kaz blinked. "What?" Oliver looked between him and Chase. He remembered watching them eat popcorn like they were watching an action movie. He could hear Kaz laughing at him. Chase making jokes.

"Neither of you believed I could save Mr. Davenport. _He_ didn't even believe I could do it! Nobody did. I know I've only had powers for a few months, but I'm already the worst superhero ever."

Those words will always haunt him.

Chase shook his head. "Don't say that. You just need some practice."

"Your _father_ was even the one who said it first!" Oliver argued.

"He was scared, Oliver! You can't pin that on him when he was dangling a thousand feet in the air!" Chase yelled. He cleared his throat and pulled his shirt down to straighten it. Then, in a softer voice, he added, "You can't just be good at something right off the bat. You have to work for it."

"Kaz has had his as long as I've had mine, and he's better than me. My mother only had hers for _five minutes_ and she was controlling them like she'd had them for years." Oliver cowardly backed away from them and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

Kaz noticed Oliver falter when he mentioned his mom. He noticed how sad he suddenly got when she was brought into the conversation. Kaz's anger faded and he turned to Chase. "Hey, uh, why don't you call the girls and tell them we found him?"

Chase caught on quickly, nodded, and walked away with his phone already to his ear.

"This isn't just about not being good enough, is it?" Kaz asked, looking back at Oliver, who was now sitting on the curb.

"I'm terrified, bro," Oliver sighed, staring at the ground. Kaz sat next to him and rested his forearms on his knees.

"Of what?"

Oliver was silent for a moment. He rubbed his hands and dropped his head. Kaz watched him and waited.

When Oliver did speak again, his voice was weak and vulnerable. "What if I end up like my mom?" His tone was small and uneven. Kaz swallowed hard and looked around. Oliver continued, "Remember when your future self came back to destroy me because I was evil in the future?"

"Yeah, but remember how you changed your fate and stopped yourself from becoming that?" Kaz argued.

"Kaz, that was a fluke. I don't know what I did to start on that path or get off of it. It could still happen. That's two signs already that I'll be evil one day."

"You're not gonna be evil," Kaz stated, shaking his head.

"How do you know that?" Oliver challenged. He jumped to his feet and paced back and forth in the light.

"Because I'm not going to let it happen." Kaz stood. "You're in charge of your own life. You make the decisions."

"But what if I make the wrong decisions?" Oliver sounded so small. So vulnerable. A few tears slid down his face and dripped off his chin.

"You might," Kaz admitted. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "But you've got friends who will help you get back on track. Dude, you're my best friend. I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you on the right side."

Oliver wiped his face and sniffed. Then he smiled. "Thanks, Kaz." Even his smile looked broken. Kaz stepped forward and pulled Oliver into a tight hug. They seemed to be doing that recently, and it was a tad bit odd for Kaz. But it was Oliver, and Kaz learned a long time ago that he'd do anything for his dork of a friend.

"You okay? Ready to go home?" Kaz asked, stepping back.

"Yeah," Oliver said after a moment. He sniffed again. "Yeah, let's go home."

* * *

You know, I think it'd actually be really cool if something like this happens in the show. Like, Oliver being tempted to be evil because of his mom. I hope the writers touchdown on that and how Oliver felt after it really sank in that his mom really was evil. Cause I mean, that's some pretty heavy stuff right there. It's like having a parent die, it seems like. I sometimes hate how Disney covers up all the serious stuff with dumb and cheesy jokes.

But anyways, please tell me what you thought of this in the reviews! :) It really means a lot!


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